Asha

Before I start this post, I want to tell you what I was doing to prepare for it.

I was driving to the place where I planned to meditate and begin writing, listening to a playlist I had created years ago that reminded me of my mom. The first song that came on was Close to You by The Carpenters. I used to sing that song to my children while rocking them to sleep in their nursery. My mom had taught it to me, and she also used to play The Carpenters album on our record player in the foyer, where we would dance on Christmas Eve to festive holiday music.

As I was driving, singing along, and thinking about both my children and my own childhood, I passed a little girl sitting cross-legged at the edge of her yard. She was surrounded by dolls, completely immersed in play, probably making up stories about each one of them—just as I used to do as a little girl in my own yard.

I smiled as it made me think of my younger self. The little girl who always wanted my mother close to me.

What a beautiful, serendipitous moment as I prepared to delve deeper into my spiritual experiences with my mom!

So, on to Asha.

I first came to know Asha a few days after my experience at a live reading with Teresa Caputo. I had shared the story on Facebook, and my best friend, Lata, whom I met in college, reached out to tell me that her sister had recently decided to begin offering psychic mediumship more publicly. Although she had always possessed the gift, her mentor encouraged her to see it not as something she was learning, but as something she was remembering. Along the way, she learned tools that helped her share her abilities with others in a more structured and supportive way. Lata thought Asha could probably do a reading for me.

At that time, Asha was still developing her abilities. She would take a photograph of your loved one, meditate, invite in white light, protection, guides, angels, spirit, and the Holy Spirit, and then begin what I would describe as something similar to automatic writing—which will be a future blog topic.

She would meditate and then simply begin writing without consciously thinking. Thoughts, feelings, emotions, images, and words would come through, and she would write them down. Later, she would send an email containing what often felt like a somewhat unorganized word puzzle. About 75–80% of it would make sense and usually seemed directly related to your loved one.

For example, my mom came through and described our house in remarkable detail. Asha knew nothing about me. We did not have a relationship. In fact, she has always said that she prefers not to know anything about her clients because it actually makes readings more difficult. She believes she reads strangers more clearly than people she knows personally.

I received those early emails and was fascinated. Without going into too much detail, fast forward to today and her gifts have developed tremendously. In my opinion, Asha is as gifted as Teresa Caputo.

Asha is highly skilled as a clairvoyant (seeing spirits), clairaudient (hearing spirits), and clairsentient (feeling spirit energy). She is also a psychic. She has an incredible ability to connect with loved ones and bring through whoever most needs to speak during a reading.

You can certainly have intentions about who you'd like to hear from, but ultimately, whoever shows up tends to be the spirit whose message is most needed at that moment.

After several email readings and as her gifts continued to deepen, I scheduled a FaceTime session with her. She spent hours connecting with my mother. Through Asha, my mom described what it was like on the other side and offered deeper insights into our family dynamics, including her relationship with my father and my siblings.

She always came through with loving wisdom and immense compassion.

Asha lives in Virginia, as does my sister. A few years into my relationship with Asha, I decided to schedule an in-person reading. My sister and I drove about an hour to Asha's beautiful home and settled into her basement, sitting on comfortable stools at her bar. Terri sat on one side of me and Asha on the other.

Because the reading was primarily intended for me, much of the focus centered on my relationship with my mom. When my mother came through, she even acknowledged that she would mainly communicate through me because she understood that Terri wasn't quite as comfortable with this form of communication.

Asha described it as a swinging door at a bar. My swinging doors are wide open. Terri's are sometimes open and sometimes closed.

She also explained that spirit energy can be experienced in different ways. When energy arrives, she says it often feels similar to the static on a television screen—a buzzing sensation made of energy. We are all forms of energy; we simply vibrate at different frequencies. That chill you feel or when your hair stands on end? That’s spirit.

The reading began with Asha describing an elderly woman and an elderly man, both stoic and mild-mannered. As we talked further, we realized they were our paternal grandparents. They spoke about their relationship with our father, something I will discuss in a future blog.

My mom was present the entire time, and my grandparents acknowledged her. It felt as though the three of them were gathered on one side of the bar while the three of us sat on the other, simply hanging out and talking through Asha. It blew my mind.

The very first thing my mom said was so perfectly her.

"Where is my ring, Susan? Where is the ring?"

I immediately knew exactly what she was talking about.

My eyes widened, and I burst out laughing. She was referring to her wedding ring, which I had once traded in to help buy Joel a watch many years earlier. She discovered what I had done years later and called me out on it during a Sunday lunch.

It became a long-running family joke.

Don't trust Susan with anything—she'll give it away.

So when Asha relayed that message, I knew it was my mom. It was exactly her style: sarcastic, playful, and determined to get the last word in—just as she had during the Teresa Caputo reading.

The rest of the reading focused largely on what was happening in my life and my marriage at the time. I was struggling in my relationship with my husband, and my mom called it out directly.

True to her loving but straightforward personality, she offered advice from the other side.

I knew it was her because the tone, language, and manner of speaking were exactly how my mother would have spoken to me if she were still alive. At what point she said through Asha, “Susan, what would I say if I was with you right now? You know what to do.”

Asha didn't know my mom. She didn't know much about my life.

Yet I knew this was my mother, reminding me that she was with me, especially during the times when I needed guidance the most.

Another fascinating moment occurred during the reading.

At one point, Asha described a female spirit connected to the West Coast, possibly California. This woman was showing her avocado trees and lemon trees growing in a backyard.

Asha laughed and said, "I don't even know what an avocado tree looks like if one hit me on the head, but that's what she's showing me."

After the reading, we called my brother to tell him everything that had happened. He was not a firm believer in the mediumship world but was willing to listen to me and my stories.

When we mentioned the avocado and lemon trees, he suddenly went silent and then gasped.

"Oh my God. I know what she’s talking about!"

A few weeks earlier, he had been visiting California and had stopped to see an old friend who had recently moved there. The friend had proudly shown him her backyard, which was filled with avocado and lemon trees. There was my mom again, letting us know in a fun way that she is not gone and is always with us.

You can't make this shit up, people!

Personally, one story like that would make me a believer. But not everyone is wired the same way, and we are all on different journeys here on “Earth School”.

My mom, from the other side, has helped me develop a deeper understanding of myself. She reminds me of my strengths and my soul, but she also encourages me to look honestly at my shadows.

As my relationship with Asha has evolved, I typically see her about once a year for a check-in. It's no longer primarily about speaking directly to my mom. Sometimes it's about hearing from other loved ones, my spirit team, or my guides—sources that help confirm I'm moving in the right direction or they offer seeds for growth.

Readings are not always easy.

It's hard to look at your own shadow and sit with it.

But doing so has helped me move through old patterns and release gifts that feel deeply connected to my soul's purpose.

One of the reasons I'm writing this blog today.

Over the years, my mom's presence in readings has changed. I think that's partly because of what I've learned about what happens on the other side—which is a topic for another blog.

In the beginning, she showed up very clearly as my earthly mother: loving, comforting, wise, and delightfully spicy.

Now she seems different.

Not absent. Not diminished.

Just expanded.

She feels less like a single voice and more like part of something larger. I still hear from her directly, but sometimes it feels as though she's speaking through a broader collective wisdom.

Asha also helped me heal aspects of my relationship with my father before he died.

It began with my mother's explanations during our readings about my father's role in our lives and the ways we had adapted and protected ourselves.

Those conversations softened something in me.

They allowed me to move a little closer to my dad and support him through his dying process.

But that story belongs in the next post I write about Asha’s readings.

Asha Part Two begins after my father's passing.

If you are interested in a reading from Asha, especially if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, you can contact her at ashasedalia.com or @ashasedaliamedium on Instagram.

First Email exchange with Asha(my reflections/comments in bold):

I get the color purple..any meaning for anyone? - purple is my favorite color and the new color of my living room.

- Love, lots of love coming through. - this seems so obvious, but everyone that I've talked to that has seen my mom always talks about how much she loves me and all our family.

- She says: Be well, because I am.

- She says: Look out the window, something about looking out a window, does Susan look out a window and think of her? - I look out the window a lot thinking of her and especially look for birds as signs from her. One time on Christmas morning I was feeling very sad and lonely and remember looking out the living room window at the sky hoping to get a “hawk” experience.

- Going on walks – she says when you take a walk, I’m with you. I go on lots of walks in nature. That seems basic/obvious.

- She says: I hear your whispers to me. – Ash described this to me later as my conversations I had out loud and in my head to her.

- She says: We can do this, we can get through this and be okay.

- This is me talking (this spirit is loving, nurturing, she is still nurturing even on this side. My eyes fill with tears, so touching) - definitely my mom's nature.

- She says: I feel like I’m asking a lot of you (Susan), but she wants you to feel full inside, not empty, she’s not gone, just moved. - I don't know, I don't feel empty, but maybe I do more than I realize? Looking back 14 years ago, lol, Yes. I was sad. Not clinically depressed but grieving.

- Popsicles (a memory?) - not sure, kind of random, but she used to always have popsicles for my kids.

- She says: I can still smell the roses. - she loved knock out roses and I just bought some for my house because she always wanted me to plant some in my yard.  Put one of her garden statues in the center of them in memory of her and one bloomed on New Years morning surrounded by snow!

- I get an M name, like Marshall, Marsha, something M. - ? I have a friend named Marla? not sure.

- She says: We can do more than we think we can sometimes.

- I feel like she’s some sort of teacher, nurse, guidance counselor - she did have a volunteer counseling role with women called the Eve Center (we donated all proceeds to them) and she used to be a Stephen Minister. 

- I’m getting that Happy Song now (Pharrell’s Happy Song)…like she’s telling me how happy she is.

- Her spirit is so much love, love, love for her family, her love has no boundaries, even in death.

- Mentions Cape Cod or New England, is this a memory or a trip? - she went to New England with her girlfriends on one of her trips and loved it.

- Candles, lighting candles for her? - we released the chinese lanterns and we also had beautiful candlelight ceremonies with Emmaus retreats that she and I shared a bunch of times. Also, on Thanksgiving a month after she died, we were all together as a family including our father and his wife, sitting at huge table of 20 and lit a candle in honor of her and shared memories of her.

- Basketball, did someone play or is playing? - my nephew Parker plays basketball and he came in town for a game that I attended.

- Shows me golden, fall leaves on a tree, big full yellow-leafed tree, like a maple. That sounds like the tree in our front yard.

- January, is this significant for a bday, family event, death? - can't think of anything with this one.

- Did she like red? Reddish, jacket or coat? - one article of clothing that is in my closet that I saved of hers is a red sweater jacket.  I never wear it but I can't seem to get rid of it either because it reminds me so much of her.

- She has such sweetness to her, love. (Me saying this)

- She says: I can have joy here too, I can go for walks.

- Song comes to me: Let’s go out to the ball game…buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, I don’t care if we ever come back (did she like baseball, baseball game memory?) - she wasn't a big baseball fan, but we did go to some Reds games as a family and had lots of fun.

- Birds?? Did she like birds, have birds? - I get lots of signs with her through birds, especially hawks.  

- She says: Look up! Susan, look up! (she repeats this throughout) - I'm always looking up for birds and signs from her and I have been really down lately.

- Rooster crowing (what is this?) - that did give me chills because a rooster is the symbol for the Emmaus Walks which was something very special that we shared.  

- Another song: Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing o’er the plain…Gloooooria, in excelsius Deo…(that song) – church.

- (I’m crying here, tears are flowing freely…happy, loving tears that you only get from a mom’s love)

- She’s showing me purple flowers in garden, like gardenias maybe, don’t know my flowers well. - I have purple flowers from my mom's garden that she gave me.  They are smaller irises and are just popping up now in my sideyard!

- Talks about peanuts again (like a baseball game?) - I don't know what the deal is with peanuts, but Molly is allergic.

- Does Elton John’s Candle in the Wind mean anything to you? - not really but she did go see him in concert and I kept one of his CD's that was hers.  That song is on it.

- She says: I’m a glass half-full kind of gal. - she was.

- Tell Susan to Look Up, Look Up, I’m here! - I do look up at the sky a lot, especially sitting on my patio that we built with money we got from the sale of her condo.  I always say we built it in honor of her and when I sit out there at night, I look up and think of her and sometimes talk to her

- She mentions Dr. Suess’s: O, The Places We Could Go (showing me that book) - she gave me that book for my college graduation.

- She’s almost counseling Susan here: We have to change, things change, we’re still okay. I’ve just changed places, I’m ok, you’re ok. (she is so comforting, beautiful comfort)

- R name comes up? Maybe Riley, but I get R. - Rebecca is my sister-in-law, not sure?

- Bells, bells ringing, like a school or like a name, Belle or a B name (vague) - Isabelle is my grandma's name, her mother, and it's Molly's middle name; we called my grandma Belle.

- Train whistling?? There is a train track a few miles from our house. It whistles in the evenings and I think of my mom when I hear it.

- Baby things, she shows me clothes and a wooden rocking horse - not sure, but I do have an antique baby doll with a white dress that my mother sewed for it and my mom bought a rocking cradle?

- She shows me she is picking things off a tree, flowers, pruning or getting fruit? She was a big gardener and now I have become one because of her.

- Pink, get the color pink, and a race, like a cancer support race.  not sure about this either.

- Random: A darker skinned man, glasses, driving, captain of a boat, she’s a passenger on a boat, like she’s on a cruise, a ride or vacation. - Joel's dad had darker skin and he used to drive their boat?  My grandfather/her dad was also darker complected with dark hair. Could they be cruising around in heaven? lol 

- Another song (did she like music?): Sesame Street’s classic song, “Somebody Come and Play, Somebody Come and Play Today, somebody come and be my friend and last the laughs until it rains again” (this is either a memory or showing her playfulness) - she loved to listen to music but not sure about the sesame street thing.

- Funeral: Was there a discussion about what she would wear, at first a darker dress, (black was picked), but you thought this was drab, sad, so you picked a pastel color? Were there flowers put inside the coffin? Flowers were with her directly?  - I think I remember suggesting the dress she wore at my sister’s wedding which was black, but we changed our minds to wear something brighter and buried her in a turquoise dress.  I think we each put a flower on top of her coffin before they buried it.

- She says: This is just a rebirth for me, a change. This is like PART 2 for me.

- She says: You sulk more than she would like. Hold your head up Susan. I am with you. I hear your whispers.- gosh, I sound really depressed but I don't think that I am!!!  ;)

- Remember our parties? (Like meaning tea parties?) - nope, we never had tea parties, but we had lots of family parties. And we did have tea parties with Molly.

- She says: I’m so happy, I want you to be too.

- L name, something L name. - Lauren, my niece?

- I get a ranch-style house, with brick on it…and a reddish car? - not sure what this means at all; my grandparents had a ranch style house, but can't remember if it had brick and don't think they had a red car.

- She says: I can’t go home, but you can (like your childhood home), I’ll meet you there. - I did go into my childhood home about 6 months after she died.  It was a special treat - the people were moving, we happened to be driving by and they let us walk though.

- Hug the children for me. You have a ways to go with them Susan. And when you tire, I’ve got your back. - ;)

- Showing me her painted toenails. Did you get a pedicure with her? - we did get a few pedicures together.  Bought her one for mother's day and birthday.

- I get a fluffy, puffy haired small whitish dog? - our dog Whiskey died a looooong time ago but it was our childhood dog. We also had a blonde cocker spaniel named Magoo, whom she dearly loved.

- She says to me: I find this remarkable (the communication)

- She takes me inside a home, seems newer, greenish walls, dark table, dining room table, wood floors. – My living room used to have green walls, and we have wood floors, and had 2 wood tables.  We ended up getting rid of her dining room set, but it was in my house for a year.

- She understand your ache for her, but she’s still here, is here.

- Was there a blender issue (so random) – not sure about that one but she and my grandmother and her bought us a stand-up mixer for our wedding gift.

- She says to Susan: Create a place for you to come to me, and I’ll meet you there, I’ll meet you in your thoughts.

- She says: I can create a storybook, I’ve got a creative mind, like making crafts? - not sure what this means but I did make photo books of her for each of the grandkids.  It was unique to each one of them.

- She shows me that she’s standing in a boat, looking out over the water. -not sure - she went on a cruise with my sister and nieces?

- She makes some comment about your hair, like you’re trying to decide what to do with it, go really short, or change the style. - ha, well I was always changing my hair and it's crossed my mind to cut it, but I'm also always changing the color.

- Lastly, she says: Look up Susan! Don’t hang your head! We had some dismal times when I was sick, but now we can look up! (she says this with love)

Note: The first time I got this reading, about 60% made sense. As time went on, more things connected and almost all of it now makes sense to me. 